The boogeyman is real. It sneaks into life, disguised as your best work, so most of the time you don’t even know it’s there. To see if the boogeyman is stalking you, then find your ‘whys’.
A clean house is very important to me. A clean house is not a bad thing. But the reason for a my love of a clean house? Oh my! The reason goes back to a ten-year-old me in grade 5. I had invited a friend home, on the spur of the moment, after school. She stayed a few hours, then went home for supper. The next day when I walked into class I heard her saying to a group, “And besides all the dirty dishes, they don’t flush the toilet!” She was talking about my house!
From that day on I found my life purpose. I could never let that happen again. Enter my boogeyman disguised as a love for cleanliness. My mother started calling me ‘Bathroom Annie’, that’s how obsessed I’d become with cleaning the washroom, especially if people were coming over.
It’s great when kids gain household skills and a sense of responsibility, but those were not the reasons behind my actions. My goal was to never ever be caught again with a messy house, where no one would ever accuse us of not flushing the toilet. But how do you measure success or when do you get to feel fulfilled with that type of goal?
This happens a lot in parenting, in choosing relationships and life partners, in making big life decisions. We don’t want to repeat that mistake again, we vow we won’t make the same mistakes our parents made, we don’t want to get hurt again, don’t want our kids to experience the pain we experienced.
But what does success look like when our goals are about what we DON’T want?
“I succeeded in avoiding all complicated relationships and now feel so fulfilled in my life”?
“I succeeded in not being blue-collar like my dad and now I can die happy.”?
“I succeeded in not repeating the same mistakes with my kids that my parents made with me.”?
I will let you in on a little secret: This is not success. This is obsession. And it is exhausting.
Yes, we succeed in avoiding the boogeyman, but this is not how to achieve growth.
As your Life Coach, in 6 1-hr sessions, I will…
- Help you look at your fear-based “whys”; I’m going to force you to be honest with yourself, to identify the moment in time you met your boogeyman.
- Help you uncover your lost and forgotten truth-based “whys”; this often feels like being born again and comes with deep emotion and a sense of purpose..
- Help you will discover your best game plan going forward in growth and resulting in a fulfilled life.
Sounds simple? It’s never simple. But it is worth it in order to find fulfillment and success beyond avoiding a life spent trying to avoid the boogeyman!