My Father Sent A ‘Friend Request’ for Christmas

We don’t hear that “Oh snap! My mom/dad’s on facebook!” complaint so much these days. To tell the truth, I was surprised (and, if I can be honest – which I can because it is my blog – slightly insulted) that such an amazing generation of young people, known for their open-minded tolerance and world-wide-webbishness, so readily embraced the old stodgy tradition of discrimination. Discrimination… it’s so last millennium. 

Irresistible Goodness Part 2: Spit or Swallow

(Last week…)

…The Christmas Spirit had made me bold. Inhaling deeply through my nose my lungs filled with air. With everything I had in those skinny-kid cheeks I blew the mouthful of canned peas across the table in the direction of my sister Mary.

Let me tell you, I never saw what was coming next…

I’m not sure if it was The Backhander or The I’ll-Box-Your-Ears but some big person’s hands landed on my head and I started crying for the injustice of being forced to eat peas, for the shame of being in trouble on Christmas day and the livid anger that Mary was smirking at me from across the table. 

Irresistible Goodness Part 1of 3: Canned Peas? Seriously?

 

Canned peas? Seriously?

 

 

It’s the Jolly Green Giant’s fault. He is the root of all canned peas evil, as far as I’m concerned. I can remember  few foods I disliked more. Truth be told, I thought the term ‘Picky Eater’ was created for me, and proudly wore my nickname ‘Picky Pat’. I ate very few things. Captain Crunch cereal was one. A strange cut of beef called a ‘minute steak’ fried till it dried was another. Oranges. And Pixie Stix.